Emerald Guard Forum Index
Author Message
<  Photo Gallery  ~  Press Release: Azerothian Gigolo Scandal Rocks Teldrassil
Kalielar
PostPosted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 1:29 am  Reply with quote
Druid


Joined: 20 Sep 2005
Posts: 1146
Location: Shattanooga Shoo Shoo

AP - Azerothian Press: November 5th, 2005 - Ironforge

The Cenarion Enclave shook from the inside when their noble son, Kalielar, Prefect of the honored regiment The Emerald Guard released the following scandalous press release to the media revealing his moonlighting prostitution gig. Both the Archdruid and High Priestess would not comment at this time, but Auctioneer Redmuse offers the following insightful words, "Oh Kalielar? He's a cream dream!"


PRESS RELEASE from the Desk of Kalielar:

Recently, the dastardly Defias Brotherhood attempted to blackmail me and ruin my military and political careers by revealing indiscretions from my past. Upon the sage advice of Expert Enchanter Gimble Thistlefuzz, I have decided to come forth with the truth of my private affairs. I admit to having worked briefly as a man-whore -- it's true, I was young and I needed the gold.

I release the following photographs which were taken by one of Van Cleef's undercover rogues when I was turning tricks in the Red Light District of Ironforge. Frankly, I do not regret what I have done, for I did it for the greater good -- to pay off my loans and feed the needy orphans of Stormwind. I only regret that I was forced to hustle my services wearing skimpy little manties and a feathered midriff shirt which were truly humiliating for a Druid of my stature and breeding. Beyond that, I find man-whoring to be a noble albeit discreet profession -- I do hope that my fellow guildmates and the public find it in their hearts to understand that I did what I had to do. I no longer man-whore to the throngs of Ironforge (I finally earned enough gold to buy myself pants with actual legs), but I still voluntarily serve as the exclusive he-bitch of the Emerald Guard guild members who hold my highest allegiance.

Sporting the official Streetwalker armor set:


Working the streets incognito, I wondered if Tryxx was also turning tricks:


Hustling in the Red Light District of Ironforge:







Now that I am no longer turning tricks on the streets, for all the peoples of Azeroth that might require an escort for those lonely nights, may I recommend fellow man-whore Dungar Longdrink to service you.


_________________
Kalielar Timberlake
(\\\\"\(.:..:.)/\\\\") Kaboomkin!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Adeena
PostPosted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 3:47 pm  Reply with quote
Hunter


Joined: 15 Oct 2005
Posts: 266

What a terrible loss, you were the best he-hoe in my man-stables, where's a reputable she-pimp like me supposed to find a replacement?! Ahh well, thinking back, you never really made me any money anyways, with all the meat and leather you sent me I started wondering if you weren't turning tricks on bartered goods.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
Kalielar
PostPosted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 9:06 pm  Reply with quote
Druid


Joined: 20 Sep 2005
Posts: 1146
Location: Shattanooga Shoo Shoo

I was going to pay you your cut in gold at first, but I thought you said you were 'into leather' and that you thoroughly enjoyed my 'tasty meat'? I must have totally misunderstood what you meant. *shrug*

Anyway, I suppose for that for you, as my first she-pimp who kindly took me in while I was still cherry, I can occasionally turn a couple of tricks for old times sake. You did after all teach me everything I needed to know to survive on the streets of Azeroth, so it's the least I could do. Besides, now that I think about it, I realize I'm going to have to hustle a little on the side once you've eventually set your eyes on an epic mount. Just no more 'dates' with two-headed Ogres please... it always chafes afterwards.

_________________
Kalielar Timberlake
(\\\\"\(.:..:.)/\\\\") Kaboomkin!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Adeena
PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2005 3:23 pm  Reply with quote
Hunter


Joined: 15 Oct 2005
Posts: 266

Kalielar wrote:
... it always chafes afterwards.


No one ever listens to the hunter... I told you, that is what all those Wildvine Potions I sent you were for, what'd you do... Drink them?!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
Diddamouse
PostPosted: Sat Nov 12, 2005 6:26 pm  Reply with quote
Mage


Joined: 13 Oct 2005
Posts: 19
Location: Elwynn Forest

I am shocked and appalled.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Adeena
PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 5:19 am  Reply with quote
Hunter


Joined: 15 Oct 2005
Posts: 266

Diddamouse wrote:
I am shocked and appalled.


Now THAT is saying something eheh
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
Kalielar
PostPosted: Sun Nov 13, 2005 10:01 pm  Reply with quote
Druid


Joined: 20 Sep 2005
Posts: 1146
Location: Shattanooga Shoo Shoo

Adeena wrote:
Diddamouse wrote:
I am shocked and appalled.


Now THAT is saying something eheh


Hehe, tell me about it. That's like the kettle calling the pot(head) black.

_________________
Kalielar Timberlake
(\\\\"\(.:..:.)/\\\\") Kaboomkin!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Display posts from previous:   
All times are GMT - 2 Hours

View next topic
View previous topic
Page 1 of 1
Emerald Guard Forum Index  ~  Photo Gallery

Post new topic   Reply to topic


 
Jump to:  

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum




Powered by phpBB and NoseBleed v1.09